The Unyielding Mandate 27.3

Wherein, the Council of Unyielding Mandates decrees that the coffee-to-water ratio in the employee break room shall henceforth be 1:2.

Any deviation from this ratio shall result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

Immediate termination of all coffee privileges
Forced attendance at interminable meetings about the importance of proper coffee ratios
Mandatory viewing of the "The Coffee Ratio" video series

Don't. Say. We. Can't.