Mandate 3, Section 2, Subsection 2.4: The Great Pizza Topping Conundrum
In this highly classified, top-secret government document, we have identified the optimal pizza topping combination that guarantees maximum flavor and minimum existential dread.
After months of research and experimentation, our team of highly trained agents has concluded that the key to a successful pizza lies not in the sauce, cheese, or crust, but in the ratio of toppings to crust.
For those who dare to attempt this feat, the following guidelines are mandatory:
- Toppings must be applied with a ratio of 3:1:1.5 (meat:sauce:cheese)
- The crust must be cooked to a precise crispiness of 4.2 on the McSquidge scale
- Each topping must be precisely 2.5mm in diameter
Failure to comply with these regulations will result in catastrophic consequences, including but not limited to:
- Existential dread
- Loss of taste buds
- Unstable government
Don't say we didn't warn you.
For more information, see: