MANDATE 8, ARTICLE 2: Prophets of Inefficiency
Section 1: Unnecessary Meetings
The Prophets of Inefficiency have decreed that all meetings shall be held with a minimum of 17 chairs at the conference table. Any less would be an insult to the art of pointless discussion.
- Chair 1: The person who called the meeting, because someone has to.
- Chair 2: The person who is not actually in charge, because that's just more confusion.
- Chair 3: The person who is late, because they're still trying to find the conference room.
- ...
Because, let's be real, who needs email?
- Phone calls are the new email!
- Text messages are just like email, but shorter!
- Carrier Pigeons, because who needs the internet, anyway?
Where the most efficient path is not always the best path.
- Take a 10-minute detour through the parking garage.
- Do it the hard way, because that's just more fun.
- Take a 3-hour lunch, because you've earned it.