A Decree of Utter Seriousness

By the authority vested in us, we hereby decree that all socks shall be sorted in the following manner:

• Striped socks: on the left
• Polka dots: on the right
• Crazy patterns: on top of the dresser, where no human eye shall dare look

Failure to comply will result in the following consequences:

• Forfeit of all snacks for a week
• Loss of all video game privileges for a month
• Forced listening to elevator music on repeat for a day

Exceptions to the Rule Enforcement and Consequences Frequently Asked Questions