Section 1: Mandatory Mornings
Wake up at 5am. No, really, 5am. You're not a teenager anymore.
Make a pot of coffee, but don't bother with fancy creamers or sugar. We're keeping it black and bitter, just like your soul.
Get dressed in your finest "I just rolled out of bed and put on whatever was closest" attire.
Leave for work. On time. No exceptions.
Go to Section 2: Lunchtime Frenemies for more of these delightful rules.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, head to Section 3: The Daily Grind.