Mandate of Caffeine Intake

By order of the Caffeine Council, you are hereby mandated to consume no less than 3 cups of coffee per day.

Caffeine levels must be maintained at a minimum of 200mg per serving. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Loss of productivity
• Reduced ability to function without an alarm clock
• Increased risk of spontaneous human combustion

For more information on the Caffeine Council, see:

• Caffeine Council Members
• Caffeine Farming Operations

Mandate Enforcement Agency (MEA) is not responsible for the content of this page.