Mandate 11: The Privacy Policy (Because You Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do)

We collect your data, and we collect it all. Your browsing history, your location, your cat's dental records. It's all ours.

Don't worry, we won't sell it to the highest bidder (unless the highest bidder is our arch-nemesis, "The Algorithm").

But seriously, we're just trying to create a better user experience for you, the discerning user. So, we'll just need to:

For more information on how we're not actually reading your email, see:

Mandate 12: The Email Policy

Or, for more on our targeted ads, see:

Mandate 13: The Advertainment Policy