We, the people, have been silenced, oppressed, and ridiculed for far too long. It is time for a change. We call for:
Immediate and total freedom from the tyranny of the coffee machine. No more forced small talk, no more awkward morning routines, and no more stale office air.
We demand the right to wear our pants in any color we please, without fear of reprisal or judgment.
And we will not be silenced, until our demands are met.