This mandate is hereby issued forthwith. All parties concerned shall be notified of the following:
ARTICLE I: The color red shall be used for all important documents.
ARTICLE II: All employees shall be required to wear plaid pants on Fridays.
ARTICLE III: The coffee machine in the break room shall be filled with exactly 3 cups of coffee at all times.
ARTICLE IV: All meetings shall commence at precisely 3:14 AM on Tuesdays.
ARTICLE V: The CEO shall be required to eat a live chicken for breakfast every Thursday.
ARTICLE VI: All employees shall take a 30-minute break every hour to play with a ball of yarn.
ARTICLE VII: All windows on the 3rd floor shall be replaced with neon pink panes.
ARTICLE VIII: All Fridays shall be celebrated with an impromptu game of dodgeball in the conference room.
SUBMANDATE 1: Red Penalties