Quantum Quattro Heist Submandate 1: The Mandate That Broke the Internet

Submandate Overview

Due to unforeseen circumstances involving quantum fluctuations in the fabric of space-time, we have been forced to re-write the fundamental laws of reality.

As such, the following submandates have been issued in an attempt to re-establish order:

Submandate 2: Temporal Re-Alignment | Submandate 3: Quantum Flux Compensation

Key Provisions:

Section A: Article 1 - All existing laws of physics are hereby nullified.

Section B: Article 1 - Time is now relative, but only on Tuesdays.

Section C: Article 1 - All cats are now mandatory for intergalactic travel.