STEP 7: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO MUSTACHES AND MAGIC

You have reached the pinnacle of mustachioed mastery. Your whiskers are now imbued with mystical energy.

As a certified Expert in Moustache Magic, you are now qualified to perform the most daring of feats:

1. Moustache Levitation: Levitate your mustache to dizzying heights!
2. Moustache Shield: Protect yourself from the mundane with an impenetrable mustache barrier!
3. Moustache Sword: Summon the fury of a thousand mustaches to vanquish your enemies!

But don't just take our word for it, here's what some of our esteemed patrons have to say:

"I was skeptical at first, but after mastering the art of Moustache Magic, I can now summon an entire army of mustachioed minions!" - Reginald P. Bottomsworth

"I was lost in a sea of bland, boring beards, but with Moustache Magic, I can now grow the most majestic, most epic of mustaches!" - Balthazar McSnazz