In a world where the sacred and the profane coexist in delicate balance, one artifact stands supreme: the moustache. A symbol of virility, of potency, of existential dread.
Herein lies the definitive treatise on the mystical properties of the moustache, wherein lies the key to unlocking the very fabric of reality itself.
Or, at the very least, a moderately well-researched and somewhat-entirely-serious exploration of the moustache's more... esoteric properties.