Mandate 8-3: The Unyielding Regulations of Unbridled Chaos

This is a regulation so absurd, so all-encompassing, that even the most stalwart of bureaucrats cannot help but be drawn in by its sheer scope.

Submandate 8-3-1: Mandatory Mornings

Section 1: All citizens are required to wear their pants at all times, unless they are in a state of complete and utter despair.

Section 2: All forms of creative expression are strictly prohibited, except for the playing of the accordion.

Section 3: All citizens are mandated to have at least 5 pets, which must be walked at least once daily.

Regulatory Compliance Department: Because you can never be too safe.