A directive from the Moustache Regulatory Commission
Every citizen is required to maintain a moustache of impeccable quality. This includes but is not limited to:
Moustachian holidays are a time to celebrate the majesty of the moustache.
Failure to comply with this mandate will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
This is a completely fictional and satirical document. Do not attempt to use it as a real guide for moustache maintenance.