In this month's mandate, we're highlighting the benefits of being a Prophet of the Church of the New New New Testament.
- Unlimited free parking on Sundays (just kidding, it's actually $10/hour)
- Free use of the sacred holy water fountain (just be careful not to drink too much)
- Exclusive access to the Prophets' Lounge, where you can enjoy a 50% discount on all coffee and snacks (just don't tell anyone about the stained couch)
- Free subscription to the monthly Prophet's Newsletter, featuring articles on "The Importance of Correctly Placing Apostrophes" and "Why You Should Never Trust a Prophet with a Beard"
Don't miss out on these amazing perks! Join us today and start prophesying like a pro!