Due to an unexpected rise in demand for artisanal, hand-crafted, gluten-free, vegan, small-batch, locally-sourced socks, all employees in the office are now required to wear matching "I Socks Matter."
Effective immediately, failure to comply will result in the immediate revocation of all coffee breaks and a 5-minute penalty in productivity.
As of March 1st, 2024, all meetings will now be conducted in a state of complete silence, with the exception of the occasional, mandatory, 5-minute break to recharge.
Due to an alarming increase in office gossip, all employees are now required to carry a personal, government-issued Gossip Tracker at all times.
Learn more about Sock Syndrome