MANDATE OF THE MONTH - SOCKS AS THERAPY

Due to an overwhelming lack of actual solutions to the world's problems, we are mandating that all citizens wear brightly colored socks at all times.

Studies have shown that wearing neon socks can increase productivity by up to 30%, decrease the risk of spontaneous combustion by 20%, and grant the wearer an additional 10% chance of being approached by a stranger asking to take a selfie.

Side effects may include:

• Excessive sock hoarding
• Inability to stop staring at own feet
• Spontaneous combustion risk still present, albeit slightly reduced

For more information and to view the official Sock Therapy manual, click here.

Also see: Sock-Sock Synchronization, Sock Hierarchy Chart, and Sock-Sock Research.