Mandate 5: Whisker Whispering Techniques

As mandated by the Feline Overlords, all cats are required to practice Whisker Whispering for a minimum of 4 hours a day. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to: loss of treats, denial of naps, and forced viewing of elevator music.

Whisker Whispering involves the following steps:

  1. Position the whiskers in a 3:1 ratio to the length of the nose.
  2. Twitch the whiskers in a smooth, sweeping motion, mimicking the gentle lapping of waves on a moonlit lake.
  3. Repeat step 2 for a minimum of 300 repetitions.
  4. Take a 15-minute break to groom paws.
  5. Resume Whisker Whispering, increasing speed by 10%.
  6. Repeat until certified by a panel of expert feline judges.
Advanced Whisker Whispering Apps for more information on Whisker Whispering software and hardware solutions. Whisker Whispering Ethics for guidelines on acceptable Whisker Whispering behavior. Whisker Whispering Sport for competitive Whisker Whispering events and results.