Mandate 3456: Mandatory Internet Relay Chat

By Order of the Galactic Overlords

By the power vested in us, we hereby decree that all citizens of the galaxy shall participate in Mandatory Internet Relay Chat for a minimum of 4 hours daily.

Failure to comply will result in penalties, including but not limited to: loss of internet privileges, forced listening to elevator music, and/or re-education camps for the most egregious offenders.

Subscribers will receive:

• Unlimited access to the chat log, including but not limited to: witty banter, memes, and dad jokes.
• Exclusive discounts on all galaxy-wide merchandise, including but not limited to: "I survived Mandate 3456" t-shirts and mugs.
• Priority access to the Mandate 3456 subreddit, where you can discuss the finer points of the mandate with fellow subscribers.

Non-subscribers will receive:

• Randomly assigned Mandate 3456-themed avatars for their social media profiles.
• Forced viewing of propaganda videos featuring the Galactic Overlords.
• Regularly scheduled system updates, which will likely include but are not limited to: "Error 500: Mandatory Internet Relay Chat server overload."

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