Subscribe To Spam 5.0: The Mandate Edition

You are now officially subscribed to the most annoying, most repetitive, most utterly pointless emails known to humanity.

Our lawyers have informed us that our spamming is now a government mandate. Don't worry, it's totally normal, and you'll probably get 5,000+ emails in the next week alone.

Features:

• Unending streams of "Buy me stuff" emails
• Daily, weekly, and monthly newsletters that will make your email inbox scream for mercy
• Our patented "I'm-not-spam-just-a-legitimate-business-transaction" algorithm will keep you guessing until the end of time

Subscribe now and get ready to regret it!