Section 2: The Great Sock Puppet Debacle
As of Phase 5, it has come to our attention that the Sock Puppet program has been causing undue chaos in theæk department.
We are pleased to announce that the following clarifications have been made:
- Section 2 of the mandate now explicitly states that Sock Puppets are not, in fact, sentient beings.
- A new committee has been formed to address the Sock Puppet crisis, consisting of 5 esteemed members with expertise in fiber optics and puppetry.
- The committee's report is expected to be released in 6-8 weeks, depending on the availability of coffee.
For further information on Sock Puppets, please refer to the Sock Puppet Research subpage.