Dear [Insert Name Here],
We, the undersigned, are demanding that you:
1. Provide us with an endless supply of artisanal, handcrafted, locally-sourced cheese.
2. Establish a national holiday in honor of binge-watching our favorite TV show.
3. Install a ball pit in the break room.
Yours sincerely,
[Your Name]
P.S. Please do not sign if you are allergic to cheese.