Mandate 1-10: Because Someone Had to Do Something

Mandate 1: All citizens are required to wear pants at all times, except on Tuesdays.

Because, honestly, Tuesdays are just a little too weird.

Exceptions to this mandate can be found here.

Mandate 2: Everyone is required to eat exactly 5 cookies per day, or face the consequences.

It's for the health of our nation!

Tips on how to bake the perfect cookie to meet this mandate can be found here.

Mandate 3: All forms of communication are to be conducted solely through interpretive dance.

Because, clearly, words are just so... limiting.

Learn the basics of interpretive dance here.

Mandate 4: The color red is officially the national color of our great nation.

Don't @ us.

Approved color schemes can be found here.

Mandate 5: All citizens are required to learn at least 5 new memes each week.

Meme literacy is key to our nation's success!

The official meme repository can be found here.

Mandate 6: All forms of music are to be conducted solely through the use of spoons.

Because, clearly, instruments are just so... overrated.

The art of spoon music can be found here.

Mandate 7: Everyone is required to spend at least 2 hours per day thinking about chickens.

It's for the health of our minds!

The official chicken repository can be found here.

Mandate 8: All citizens are required to have at least 3 pets per household.

Because, honestly, loneliness is just so... un-American.

The national pet registry can be found here.

Mandate 9: All forms of exercise are to be conducted solely through the use of pogo sticks.

Because, clearly, running is just so... so last century.

The art of pogo stick fitness can be found here.

Mandate 10: All citizens are required to have at least one good time per week.

It's for the health of our nation!

Resources on how to have a good time can be found here.