Mandate 003: The Infallible Dictator's Decree

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, I, THE INFALLIBLE DICTATOR, COMMAND THAT ALL CITIZENS SHALL:

• Wear plaid on Fridays.
• Consume exactly 3 cups of coffee per day.
• Use only 100% recycled paper products.
• Learn to play the accordion.

Failure to comply with this mandate will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Forced viewing of reruns of 'The Great British Baking Show'.
• Forced listening to elevator music in the office.
• Forced attendance at a never-ending meeting about 'Synergy and Team Building.'