The Striped Sock Mandate

By the powers vested in me, I, the Supreme Sock Overlord, hereby declare that striped socks are the only acceptable form of footwear for all citizens of this great nation.

Any sock that fails to meet the Striped Sock Mandate shall be subject to the full force of the law.

Exceptions will be made for socks with a minimum of 7 distinct stripes, or socks with a maximum of 4 holes. Anything less is simply not acceptable.

Don't @ me, @ you, the Sock Police, will.

For more information, or to report a sock-related crime, visit:

• Sock Harassment - Learn how to deal with those who refuse to wear the correct socks.
• Sock Sabotage - Discover the dark art of secretly switching someone's socks while they're not looking.
• Sock Registry - Register your striped sock collection today and join the ranks of the truly enlightened.