More Socks, Please!

Submandates, you say? Well, let's get down to business. We're a highly trained team of sock specialists, dedicated to providing the most epic, most fantastical, most utterly absurd socks for your discerning foot. Our catalog is a wonderland of whimsy and flair, with socks that defy the conventions of traditional foot attire.

Our Sock Philosophy

At Socks Are Not a Negotiable, we believe that socks are not just a utilitarian necessity, but a key element in the grand tapestry of life. They are a statement piece, a conversation starter, a declaration of independence. And, quite possibly, a portal to another dimension.

Submandate Sock Catalog

• Socks of Destiny
• Socks of Discovery
• Socks of Deception

Or, if you will, Socks of Randomness, for the truly adventurous soul.

Our Sock Guarantee

We guarantee that our socks will not only make you laugh, cry, and question the very fabric of reality, but also make you want to wear them every day, every week, every month, and every year. Or not.

Submandate Sock Warranty

We offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not satisfied with our socks, we'll give you a full refund, or a new pair of socks, or a free hug, or all three. But let's be real, you'll probably just want more socks.