Welcome to Mathematical Sarcasm 101, where we'll guide you through the thrilling world of incorrect statistics and pseudo-scientific proofs.
Today's lesson: Proof by Ignorance - a classic!
In this lesson, you'll learn the art of presenting your lack of knowledge as a valid argument.
Here's a simple example: "I'm 99% sure that 1 + 1 = 3."
Or, if you're feeling particularly confident, try Proof by Certainty - it's like, totally true, dude.
Avoiding the details is key. Just make up some numbers, and voilà! You've got a proof that's almost as good as the real thing!
Example: "I'm 99.999% sure that 1 + 1 = 3 because, well, it just feels right, you know?"
Now, go forth and prove your ignorance to the world!
Take your proof by ignorance to the next level with this advanced technique. Just add some more confident-sounding words, and voilà! You've got a proof that's almost as convincing as a used car salesman!
Example: "I'm 99.99999% sure that 1 + 1 = 3 because, mathematically, it's a proven fact that 1 + 1 = 3, I swear on my honor as a mathematician."
Because who needs actual evidence, right? Just be certain, and the rest will follow.
Example: "I'm 100% certain that 1 + 1 = 2 because, mathematically, it's a fact, dude."