MCSAss Legend: Tips and Tricks for the Truly Clueless

Tip 1: How to not get fired by your boss

1. Arrive at 8:00. Leave at 5:00. Repeat.

Tip 2: How to make friends with your coworkers

2. Bring a gift. Anything will do. A box of donuts. A potted plant. A moderately interesting fact about yourself.

Tip 3: How to get out of doing work-related tasks

3. Claim you have a "meeting" or "conference call." Pretend to be on a phone call for 20 minutes.

Tip 4: How to make your boss think you're competent

4. Use buzzwords like "synergy" and "disruption." Pretend to be a "thought leader" in a "space."

Tip 5: How to get a raise without actually doing any work

5. Make a "list" of all the things you've done. Include things like "attended a webinar" and "read a book" and "took a 30-minute break to grab a snack."

More Advanced Tips and Tricks for the Truly Elite