Warning: This site is not actually about helping you, it's about avoiding you. Like, seriously, don't even bother trying to contact the author, they're busy playing video games.
Or maybe they're just pretending to be interested, who can say? The point is, this site is here to provide a distraction from the crushing ennui of life, so don't get too attached. It's like a digital placebo for the soul.
But hey, if you must know the secrets of pretending to care, you could try:
Back to the main page, where the author is pretending to care