Warning: Proceed with Caution
This recipe is a crime against culinary humanity. Proceed at your own peril.
Ingredients:
- 2 steaks, preferably from a sentient being that has not been treated with respect.
- 1 tablespoon of despair
- 1 teaspoon of regret
- 1 pinch of salt (carefully harvested from the tears of the oppressed)
Instructions:
- Singe the steaks on the grill for exactly 47 minutes and 12 seconds, or until they are blacker than coal.
- Flip the steaks exactly 6 times, each flip being precisely 3.14 seconds longer than the last.
- Apply the despair and regret liberally, making sure to coat the steaks evenly.
- Season with salt, but not too much, lest the flavors become too... balanced.
Side effects may include, but are not limited to: loss of taste, loss of appetite, and loss of humanity.