Utterly Disastrous Disaster Steak Recipe

Warning: this recipe has been known to ruin relationships, appliances, and kitchen floors.

To make the Utterly Disastrous Disaster Steak, you will need:

• 1 cup of oil that has been used to fry a chicken, a cat, and a small child.
• 1 lb of steak that has been sitting on the counter since 1987.
• 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise that has gone off.
• 1 teaspoon of regret.

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees while simultaneously praying for forgiveness.
2. Place the steak on a baking sheet and cover it with the oil that may or may not have been used to fry a small child.
3. Drizzle the mayonnaise over the top of the steak, making sure to get some on the counter, the floor, and the cat.
4. Put the baking sheet in the oven and set a timer for 20 minutes, or until the kitchen is filled with smoke and your family has abandoned you.
5. Remove the baking sheet from the oven and serve the Utterly Disastrous Disaster Steak to anyone who dares to take a bite.

Side effects may include but are not limited to:

• Loss of appetite.
• Loss of limbs due to spontaneous combustion.
• Loss of sanity.