Meet the Pretender: a comprehensive guide to doing just enough to get by, with a side of plausible deniability.
- Step 1: Pretend to listen. Actively nod your head, make supportive noises, and avoid eye contact.
- Step 2: When in doubt, deflect. Redirect the conversation to something else, or change the subject altogether.
- Step 3: When confronted, feign outrage. "Who, me?" or "What? Never! I'm shocked!"
- Step 4: Blame it on someone else. "I was just following orders" or "It was a team decision"
Advanced Techniques:
- The Art of the Half-Answer: A carefully crafted response that's just enough to placate without actually committing.
- The Pretender's Paradox: A statement that simultaneously affirms and denies the same thing.
- Extreme Makeover: A drastic, attention-grabbing change of subject or tone.