Behold, mortal, the prophecies of the great Prophet-Z! These are the most accurate, most profound, most utterly useless predictions in all the land.
1. "The coffee shall flow like the rivers of Babylon, and the office chairs shall be filled with the stench of stale air."
2. "The meetings shall be endless, like the never-ending cycle of birth and death."
3. "The conference calls shall be held on Tuesdays, and the minutes shall be filled with jargon and corporate speak."
And so, the people shall wander in a sea of confusion, searching for meaning in the depths of Prophet-Z's prophecies.
These prophecies are shrouded in mystery, hidden from the masses. But fear not, for they shall be revealed when the time is right.