Resolution 001: Implementation Plan

In the year 2025, humanity's collective existential dread reached an all-time high. Meatings, the world's most renowned group of interdimensional accountants, was tasked with finding a solution.

After months of deliberation, we present our plan for a 3-phase project: Phase 1 - Re-Brutalizing the Internet, Phase 2 - Inventing the world's first sentient toaster, Phase 3 - Establishing a global network of giant, talking, robotic chickens to manage the world's snacks.

Phase 1: Re-Brutalizing the Internet

• Phase 1.1 - Develop a browser extension to automatically replace all web fonts with Arial Black
• Phase 1.2 - Train a team of code monkeys to manually re-code every website to conform to our standards
• Phase 1.3 - Launch a global campaign to shame anyone who still uses Comic Sans

Phase 2: The Toaster

• Phase 2.1 - Recruit a team of roboticists to build the world's first sentient toaster
• Phase 2.2 - Program the toaster to understand and respond to the most common breakfast complaints
• Phase 2.3 - Establish a network of toaster delivery drones to ensure every household has access to the world's most efficient toaster experience

Phase 3: The Chickens

• Phase 3.1 - Develop a prototype of the Giant Robotic Chicken (GRC) model
• Phase 3.2 - Train the GRCs to understand and navigate human snack-related emotions
• Phase 3.3 - Deploy the GRCs to manage the world's snack supply chain, ensuring optimal levels of crunch and flavor

And that's the plan. Wish us luck!

Phase 1: Re-Brutalizing the Internet | Phase 2: The Toaster | Phase 3: The Chickens