Taco 'Bell Terror Tactics

A 12-Step Program to Survive the Unrelenting Viscerally-Driven Assault on Your Taste Buds

Step 1: Deny the Urge to Splurge

When the cravings hit, remember that Taco Bell is not your friend. It's like a seductive siren, luring you into a vortex of Nacho Bells and Gordita-fueled despair. Stay strong, friend, and for the love of all that is sane, do not succumb to the allure of late-night drive-thru runs.

Next Step: Resist the Urge to Splurgle

Step 2: Find Your Tribe

Join forces with fellow foodie-friends and create an alliance to resist the encroaching hordes of Doritos-fueled zombies. Share your deepest fears, your most primal cravings, and your most ingenious strategies for avoiding the Bell. United, we stand. United, we resist.

Next Step: Unite the Clans

Step 3: Unite the Clans (of Flavor)

Unite the disparate factions of your taste buds, each with its unique and wondrous abilities. Join the sweet, the spicy, and the sour, and together, create a flavor profile that is truly unstoppable. Your taste buds will thank you, your stomach will thank you, and your wallet will... well, it'll thank you too, but for different reasons.

Next Step: Deploy the Flavor Bomb
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