Procrastination Techniques for the Utterly Inept

Technique 1: The Ancient Art of Binge-Watching

Watch an entire season of your favorite show in one sitting. Repeat this process until you've reached enlightenment.

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Technique 2: The Power of Social Media

Scroll through endless feeds, comparing your life to others, and wondering why you're not as successful.

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Technique 3: The Lost Art of Emailing Your Therapist

Write a 10-page essay on your existential crisis and send it to your therapist's email. Wait 3 hours for a response.

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