Background

It has come to our attention that the Sock Puppet Union (SPU) has been secretly manipulating our sock drawers for months.

• The SPU has been accused of pilfering an estimated 300 pairs of socks, with some reports indicating that they may have even been using them to make a macramé wall hanging.
• Our sources close to the union confirm that the SPU has been using their puppetry skills to blackmail world leaders, forcing them into a never-ending cycle of matching sock drawer purchases.

Action Items

• Conduct an investigation into the SPU's activities, focusing on their alleged sock pilfering and macramé endeavors.
• Contact world leaders to negotiate a cease and desist agreement, or risk being forced to buy more socks.
• Consider implementing a sock-tracking device to monitor and prevent future SPU activities.