Stapler-Gate Guidelines

1. Be kind to your stapler, it's not your enemy
2. Never, ever, EVER use a stapler as a paperweight
3. Stapler-gate meetings are for discussion, not combat
4. Don't even think about stapling your coworker's report
5. Respect the stapler's personal space, at all times

1. Staplers are for stapling, only. No other use
2. Keep your hands and fingers away from the stapler's sharp edges
3. Don't try to "reorganize" the stapler drawer, it's a trap
4. When in doubt, ask the Stapler Overlord (aka Bob)

1. Use your inside voice when discussing Stapler-Gate
2. Don't make eye contact with the stapler, it's just a tool
3. When in the presence of the stapler, do not whisper "stapler"

1. First offense: verbal warning from the Stapler Overlord
2. Second offense: stapler confiscation (aka "The Stapler Lockdown")
3. Third offense: stapler-related exile to the "Stapler Island"

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