We use the most exotic, most expensive, and most absurdly named beans in the multiverse.
Our beans have been carefully selected to guarantee that every cup will be:
- Inconsistent in taste, texture, and color.
- Always changing flavor profile due to spontaneous dimensional rifts.
- Guaranteed to alter the consumer's perception of reality.
Carefully harvested from the most obscure corners of the cosmos, our beans are:
- Collected by highly trained, ninja-like coffee bean ninjas.
- Transported through wormholes for maximum freshness.
- Roasted to perfection using ancient, mystical rituals.