Quantum Coffee Machine: Acceleration Rate 5000

This is where the magic happens. The Quantum Coffee Machine is capable of brewing coffee at an acceleration rate of 5000. That's right, it's faster than your average drip coffee maker.

But be careful, excessive acceleration can cause unintended consequences, such as:

• Exceeding the speed of light
• Brewing coffee in mid-air prophets of doom
• Creating miniature black holes in your kitchen