1. "Ah, the horror! The unmitigated disaster that is this SpongeBob SquarePants's enthusiasm!"

2. "I'm not grumpy, I'm just passionately disinterested."

3. "You're all just pawns in the game of life. And I'm the king, with a crown made of disdain."

4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for complaining."

5. "This is my life, and I'm stuck in it, with you people and your incessant cheer."

6. "Squidward, you're a master of the dramatic pause... and the eye-roll."

7. "I don't 'do' anything, I just exist in a state of perpetual annoyance."

8. "You're all just a bunch of... enthusiastic children, aren't you?"

9. "I'll never understand the appeal of 'fun.' It's all just so... exhausting."

10. "I'm not grumpy, I'm just allergic to joy. And happiness. And enthusiasm."