Attendees: John, Mary, Bob, and the CEO's ego.
Objective: Discuss new marketing strategy for "Ego Boosters Inc."
Agenda:
Discussion:
The quarterly sales figures were... not what we expected. John: "We sold 37% more ego-boosting products last quarter, but at a 25% loss." Mary: "That's not a loss, that's just a 'loss leader'." CEO's ego: "I'm not sure what's more impressive, the sales numbers or your attempt to sound smart, John."
Introducing new product line: "Inflated Self-Importance Coats" - a series of brightly colored, oversized blazers that will surely make our customers feel even more confident. Bob: "But won't these just be a distraction from our core products?" CEO's ego: "Distract-tion? Ha! This is a bold move, a masterstroke. We'll be the laughing stock of the industry, the kings of the castle in the sky."
Addressing employee morale: "We'll just give them more work hours, and a free 'I'm a winner' t-shirt." John: "But what about actual raises and benefits?" CEO's ego: "Raising the minimum wage? That's not a raise, that's just inflation."