In a bold move to address the crippling funding shortages in our beloved arts community, we propose the implementation of the Merit Starve system.
The system would function as follows: each artiste would be assigned a merit score based on their creative output, with higher scores indicating higher levels of talent.
Those with high merit scores would be granted access to funding, while those with low merit scores would be, well... starved of funding.
But don't just take our word for it! Here are some sample proposals:
Artists would compete in a series of challenges, with each challenge designed to test their creative skills in a high-pressure environment.
Think "Survival of the Fittest" meets "American Idol", but with more berets and fewer Simon Cowells.
Learn moreWe would establish a merit-based hierarchy, where artists are ranked according to their scores.
The top artists would receive funding, while those at the bottom would be forced to live in our very own artiste slums.
It's like "The Hunger Games" but without the whole "not dying" thing.
Learn moreArtists would be forced to bid on funding, with the highest bidder receiving the most cash.
It's like "The Price is Right" but with more paint-splattered canvases.
Learn more