Artistes Unite! Merit-Starving-Artiste Benefits Unveiled

Merits, Schmerits, Who Needs 'Em?

Welcome, artistes! Today, we're discussing a revolutionary new merit system, designed to starve our beloved artists of funding, because who needs money, really?

Under this system, every artist will be required to create 10 pieces of art per week, using nothing but a ballpoint pen and a piece of notebook paper. No fancy materials, no fancy ideas - just pure, unadulterated, artistic merit.

Artistes' Union Benefits

As an artiste, you will receive:

1 free coffee per week, made from the finest Ethiopian coffee beans
1 free hug from our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated huggers
The opportunity to starve in a cold, dingy office prophetsing prophets and critics alike

Artistes' Union Benefits: Artiste Unions are the Real Meritocracy