Slide 3: "Why We're Not Dead Yet"

Despite what our spouses and landlords may think, we are indeed still alive.

We've managed to survive on a diet of stale coffee and broken dreams, and we're not done yet.

Here's a graph showing our progress:

As you can see, our numbers are still trending upward, despite the odds.

But don't worry, we're not getting too cocky. We still have a way to go before we can retire to a life of ease and leisure.

Next slide: Why We're Not Dead Yet: The Sequel