Prophet-Of-The-Status-Quo, a sage and venerable figure, has foreseen the inevitable.
With an uncanny ability to predict the most mundane events, our prophet has saved countless lives by warning them of the coming of...
...Monday.
For a fee of 500 dollars, Prophet-Of-The-Status-Quo will provide a personalized forecast of your day.
Click here to schedule your reading.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try this.
Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Unless you count the inevitability of Monday.
About our prophet.
Or, if you're feeling particularly skeptical, donate to our 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, "The Prophet's Paychecks."