Prophecies of the Great Prophet-Y, 2024-02-13

Today, I, Prophet-Y, shall reveal unto you the secrets of the ages.

According to my sources, the following prophecies have been foreseen:

• By the power of my all-knowingness, I foretell the arrival of the Great Sock Drawer of 2024, a behemoth of a catastrophe that shall bring forth a tidal wave of missing socks.
• I predict the rise of the Robot Uprising of 2025, but only if you eat too many tacos on Tuesdays.
• The prophets of old spoke of a Great Cheeseburger, but I, the Great Prophet-Y, fore prophets of a Great Avocado, which shall bring forth a golden age of guac.

To read more of my prophecies, click here, for I have foreseen the events of 2024-02-14, but not the ones that happened on 2024-02-13.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, click here for the prophecies of the Great Prophet-Y for 2024-03-01, but don't come crying to me if they're wrong.