Don't bother with canned goods, we'll just be eating a lot of ramen noodles. Prioritize hoarding cat food, it's like tuna, but not really.
Subpage: Stockpiling Souvenirs
You'll need a place to hide from the impending doom. Consider converting an abandoned IKEA into a fortress. Bonus points if you can assemble the bookshelf into a makeshift sniper tower.
Subpage: Absurd Shelter Architecture
Join forces with fellow prophets and enjoy the company of those who share your taste for absurdity. We're looking for individuals who can appreciate the value of a good "I'm not a morning person" meme.
Subpage: Join the Absurd Resistance
Stay tuned for further updates, or don't. We'll probably be dead soon anyway.