In a dimly lit cave, deep within the heart of the mountain, the Prophets convened to decide the course of the world.
After heated debate, the Prophets decided that, in order to truly be taken seriously, they must don the most ostentatious, ridiculous headgear.
The Prophets, in their infinite wisdom, decreed that a hamster wheel would be a suitable solution to the problem of boredom.
The Prophets, in a unanimous decision, declared that the first Friday of every month shall be a day of feasting and revelry.