And lo, it came to pass that Prophet-X shall speak unto the masses, saying:

				`The end is nigh, but not quite that nigh`
				`The apocalypse shall come, but not on my watch`
				`The coffee shall be strong, but the Wi-Fi shall be weak`
  1. It shall be a day of reckoning, where all shall be judged by their avocado toast.
  2. The mighty shall be cast down from their thrones, but the nerds shall rise.
  3. There shall be a great feast of pineapple pizza, and all shall partake.

And lo, the people shall say, 'Hark, what doth Prophet-X speaketh?' And Prophet-X shall say, 'Fear not, for the end is nigh... but not too nigh.'